The Daily Doodles

“It Ain’t That Bad”

The atomic bomb
Erases all he once knew…
But, school will be closed!

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(Source: thedailydoodles, via elgarabatodeldia)

“Finally, a Reason”

For all of her 19 long, arduous years on this Earth, Madison Bancroft has hoped that she projected an aura of mystery… a cynical world weariness well earned over a lifetime of hardship and struggle.

Unfortunately, she has grown up in the suburbs, to a happily married upper-middle-class couple who always tell her she can be anything she wants and that they love her, and simply has had too pedestrian and easy of a life to pull off the moodiness she strives for.  Blast it all!

So as she watches the alien attackers fly in over the purple hills from the view of her childhood home’s spacious wrap-around deck, all Madison can do is smile… FINALLY, this is her chance to have something actually bad happen.  FINALLY, there is a reason.

Unfortunately again for young, striving-to-be-dark Madison, the rest of the world is going through the same alien invasion, so once more her experiences are pedestrian and not resulting in the “seen it all, been through worse” demeanor she hopes for.

Ugh!!

Originally Posted 9/12/2012

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(Source: thedailydoodles)

“Late Night TV”

Creeping down the hallway,
He turns on the television quietly.
After everyone has gone to bed,
He looks at what they don’t want him to see.

The real education starts after hours,
So at boring stupid school he does awfully…
But he’ll learn everything he ever needs to know,
Thanks to watching Late Night TV.

Orginally Posted 4/26/2012

(Thanks to the amazing Kyle Harter for .giffing this for me!)

Wanna star in your very own Daily Doodle?  CLICK HERE!
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(Source: thedailydoodles)

“Finally, a Reason”

For all of her 19 long, arduous years on this Earth, Madison Bancroft has hoped that she projected an aura of mystery… a cynical world weariness well earned over a lifetime of hardship and struggle.

Unfortunately, she has grown up in the suburbs, to a happily married upper-middle-class couple who always tell her she can be anything she wants and that they love her, and simply has had too pedestrian and easy of a life to pull off the moodiness she strives for.  Blast it all!

So as she watches the alien attackers fly in over the purple hills from the view of her childhood home’s spacious wrap-around deck, all Madison can do is smile… FINALLY, this is her chance to have something actually bad happen.  FINALLY, there is a reason.

Unfortunately again for young, striving-to-be-dark Madison, the rest of the world is going through the same alien invasion, so once more her experiences are pedestrian and not resulting in the “seen it all, been through worse” demeanor she hopes for.

Ugh!!

Posted 9/12/2012

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“The Ghosts of Earth”, a Haiku

We all die someday.
But our ghosts search for new worlds,
To haunt once again.

Originally Posted 1/4/2012

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(Source: thedailydoodles)

“Late Night TV”

Creeping down the hallway,
He turns on the television quietly.
After everyone has gone to bed,
He looks at what they don’t want him to see.

The real education starts after hours,
So at boring stupid school he does awfully…
But he’ll learn everything he ever needs to know,
Thanks to watching Late Night TV.

Posted 4/26/2012

(Thanks to the amazing Kyle Harter for .giffing this for me!)

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“Goodnight, Son”

O’ father o’ father, I love my dog so
I’d be ever so sad, if she were to go :’-/

Hush my sweet boy, it pains me to see you cry!
I just want you to know, your dog will certainly die.

But please do not worry! Because there is more
Me and your mother shall die, just as ours did before.
Your sister’s tender hearts will clog up and burst,
(Although, statistically, you’ll likely die first).

Our whole family will be gone, and not remembered at all
And the sun will explode into a gigantic fireball.
As the sun dies, it’ll become a deadly blackhole
Where no light can escape it, and neither can your soul.
The earth will be sucked in, life as we know it will end
It’s the one certainty of existence of which you can depend.

So you have no reason to worry! We’re all born to be dead
Just close those tired eyes, and rest your weary head.

Goodnight, son.

Posted 3/29/2012

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“Nature Takes Its Course”

While humankind’s ability to adapt is a source of great pride,
Mother Nature is ruthless! and doesn’t appreciate being defied.

She had tried volcanoes, earthquakes, hurricanes and more
But humanity kept surviving everything Nature had in store
The Bubonic plague, STDs, small pox and Spanish Flu…
Billions were killed but the human species made it through.

She couldn’t kill us with a disaster and couldn’t kill us with a germ,
So Mother Nature went and decided to create a gigantic Space Worm.

GULP!  The end.

Posted 3/10/2012

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“The Exhaustive Search for Fellow Survivors”

Part 3 in The Ongoing Adventures of Haley Adams, The Last Girl on Earth.

(Click here for Part I, and here for Part II)

Bored with being the “Last Girl on Earth” (and growing increasingly tired of the ever-present infestation of Demons haunting her every move in the shadows), Haley Adams manages to convince herself that she couldn’t POSSIBLY be the only human who is still alive.

So, she dons her nicest scavenged gasmask and her jauntiest pair of goggles, and sets out into the nuclear wastelands to find her fellow survivors. 

“Finally!”, she sighs, “Something interesting to do!”

Since she’s only 9 years old and her parents were mostly preoccupied with dying in the apocalypse, Haley was never taught how to drive… and after several failed attempts at trying to teach herself how to work a stick shift on the family car, she decides she will just be one of those people who enjoy walking great distances.  Who even needs a car these days?!

After only 3 kilometers on her short legs, though, her enthusiasm for the expedition wains and Haley plops down on the curb, having decided that she has earned a break.

While sitting, she can feel the boredom seeping back in, and soon the boredom turns into tiredness and tiredness turns to sleepiness and sleepiness turns into nap time.

Haley wakes up with a start— and finds dozens of hissing, snapping demons staring her right in the face, filling her field of sight.

They all cackle evilly in unison, as their skin boils and bubbles up and rots away layer after layer, dissolving into visions of Haley’s dead family having their orifices widened and excavated by various glistening, moist living fangs that tear her family to shreds, one excruciatingly ripping bite at a time.

A demonic voice sings:
“They eat our entrails and drink our pus
So end their torture, and come with us”

Haley rolls her eyes and sighs… maybe when she was 8 this would have been scary, but she’s 9.  This is more just annoying, really.

She turns around and heads back home, and decides that even if she ISN’T the last human left on Earth, if there is truly anyone else alive they should have the common courtesy to come to her.

Posted 1/28/2012

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“The Eye of God”

Even though It’s an infinite being, the years can really drag on a deity… and finally, God has had enough.

Having grown tired of half of humanity endlessly questioning whether It exists, and angry at the other half for portraying God as a moody teen in their sacred texts, God decides today is the day—  at last, God shall reveal Itself and Their Eternal Laws to the entire world, ending thousands of years of doubt and debate.

The sky splits open in a sea of blinding, radiant light as The Eye of God looks down upon the Earth, and almost immediately the world comes to a standstill… as humanity looks towards the heavens, and sees their Creator.

God notices the look of awe on every single human’s face, and It won’t deny that it was actually pretty gratifying… God doesn’t know why it didn’t do this before!  So many years of confusion, and for what?  It can settle everything right here and now…

As God thinks for a moment about how exactly to phrase everything (It knows that if It has to backtrack later on because It misspoke, it’ll just cause even more problems), a series of loud *POPS* echo across the atmosphere… followed by a deep gurgling, and the recognizable sound of billions of eyeballs sizzling at once.

God’s holy luminescence had become too much to bear, and all of humanity is overcome by the mere sight of an all-powerful, inhuman, otherworldly, possibly inter-dimensional entity such as God… and within moments, every creature on Earth is reduced a blobulous pile of bile and gruel.

And that’s when God remembered why It doesn’t do this more often.

Posted 1/20/2012

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