The Daily Doodles

“The TV Dream”

As Cooper drifts off to sleep while watching TV,
The warm glow from the set bathing him soothing-a-ly,
He finds himself on the ocean, upon a pink cliff it seems
As what he has fallen asleep to has invaded his dreams.

From beyond the horizon, the Giant Robots trudge forth
Even though the TV sun sets in the west, every direction is North
Cooper can’t turn around to look the massive machines in the eye,
But he can feel them coming closer, and his death is nigh.

Their shadows loom for miles, as he’s frozen in his bed
He can hear their giant claws prepare to crush his tiny head
The whirring gears and beeping lights echo in his mind,
And he knows this is the end of all boy and humankind.

Cooper wakes up with a start, as he was about to surrender
An infomercial blares loudly, selling a new fancy blender
The dream’s reality fades away, as he finds himself back in his room
But he stares blankly at the screen, consumed with the feeling of doom.

Posted 8/4/2012

Wanna appear in your very own Daily Doodle?  CLICK HERE!
FAQ  TWITTER  FACEBOOK  SOCIETY6

“You’re Going to Die in Space!!”

Jamie Drew’s mother’s last sneer echoed in his head every morning of every day… “You’re going to die in space, little man!!!”. 

The words powered him all the way through college, the Pre-Astronaut masters program, Astronaut school, the residency on the Moon, and even the revered Space Academy, motivating him to show her she was wrong and fat and stupid and dumb. 

“What the hell do you know about SPACE?!” he’d scream at her memory in his head, “I’m a goddamned astrophysicist, MOM, you don’t know anything!!!!!”

But as the cheap twine safety rope that hadn’t been replaced for years due to budget cutbacks caused by the profit-centric privatization of space SNAPPED, severing him from his tether to the celebrity gossip channel’s satellite he was repairing, he realized… dammit. 

My stupid mom was right.

And that was a fate worse than death itself.

Posted 5/8/2012

(Starring the great Jamie Drew from jamiedrew.co.uk!)

Wanna star in your very own Daily Doodle?  CLICK HERE!
FAQ  TWITTER  FACEBOOK  SOCIETY6

Always trying to be on the cutting edge of rad, the slim-hipped Bradley Murphy was constantly on the lookout for ways to kick his hipster lifestyle up a notch.

So, he decided to ironically leave the city and live the rest of his days in the wilderness, where there are trees and shit. It will be so funny.

He ironically packs up everything into a cute olde-tymey hobo bindle, to really complete the look. He is leaving behind his family, friends, a fixed gear bike, and his favorite food carts.

Posted 11/19/2010

Zarktron’s sister always had problems growing up— depression, bad grades, dabbled (some say more than just dabbled) with hard e-drugs… but deep down Zarktron knew she was a good kid, who has just had a rough go. He expected her to grow out of it, but he always worried about the crowd she was hanging with.

Three years ago, she didn’t show up for their weekly Sunday brunch. No phone call, no e-mail, nothing. She vanished without a trace.

For the past three years, Zarktron has been scouring the Earth for clues and leads to her disappearance. He’s had to murder 14 suspects, tortured countless others for information, and forsaken all he thought was just and right in his heart to find her.

The trail finally led him to a porn producer in the San Fernando valley, one who specializes in Young Robot Porn. Zarktron ripped his face in half and threw his body into space.

The evil Robot Porn producer was holding over 20 other young Robot Girls prisoner, in addition to Zarktron’s sister. Zarktron let them free from their cages, but they just sat there… confused.

Zarktron’s own sister didn’t even seem to recognize him. They were all in a daze created by an addiction to the Tripolodenia e-drug, their senses and programming numbed.

His journey over at long last, Zarktron picks up his confused sister and starts their long journey on foot back to the Carpathian Mountains (where all Robots come from).

Originally Posted: 11/9/2010

Pilot Burke Richards floats helplessly in the middle of the ocean, the only survivor of a horrific plane crash. Holding onto a torn wing of his plane, Burke floats wherever the current takes him.

His mind wanders as the sun beats down, his mouth parched… why did he survive? He has no family, no one to go home to. He thinks of the happy families he saw board, their smiling children… when he returns home, he will find a nice girl and start a family. It’s what life is about. The thought of it gives him strength as the days float past slowly.

Finally, relief— Burke spots a tropical island in the distance! He kicks and paddles his floating wing towards it, thinking about how he will build his shelter, find fresh water, and make a fire so he can be found by a rescue plane… found, and taken home, where he can find that girl and start that perfect smiling family.

Unfortunately, the island he is swimming towards is a man eating island planning on eating him. He will never return back “home” again.

HOWEVER, the island takes pity on him, and allows Burke to feast upon its bountiful island resources. Over time, Burke and the island fall in love, get married, and make a few lil’ islands of their own.

And that is how Hawaii was made.

Originally Posted: 11/7/2010

The year is 1811. The Barbary Pirates are raping and pillaging all along the southern coast of the United States. A boy and his Newfoundland dog are kidnapped and sold into slavery, but somehow make their escape.

ADVENTURE IS AFOOT.

Originally Posted 10/2/2010

Beanhead, international adventurer and soldier of fortune, takes the rare day off and just relaxes at the beach on the coast of Morocco.  The waves roll in like really shittily drawn waves.

Originally Posted 9/17/2010