The Daily Doodles

“Everything is Dumb”, a Haiku

Pouting in his tub
Matt thinks Everything is Dumb.
Because, it just is.

Originally Posted 3/16/2012

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(Source: thedailydoodles)

“Billions and Billions”

Floating at the edge of our solar system and facing the far reaches of open space, Dr. Allistair Richmond gazes out at the billions and billions of visible stars and planets…

The console *beeps* as the ship’s instruments have finished scanning the current quadrant, so the Doctor moves his spaceship less than 1/10000000 of a degree over to begin scanning the next quadrant, hoping for some sort of sign of the existence of intelligent alien life.

Despite the lack of evidence to support the claim, Dr. Richmond (and the fellow top scientists of the day) believe that intelligent life must exist out there— it’s simultaneously too mathematically improbable and mathematically depressing to believe otherwise.

But while the billions and billions of stars twinkle at him invitingly, the Doctor knows much of it is fool’s gold— many of these stars have faded away millions of years ago, and the immense vastness of the universe enables us to time travel each time we stare into space.

And that same vastness means we can only look at those faraway stars, as even the closest ones would take many lifetimes to reach. We’re anchored down by our technology, and our human bodies.

And perhaps any intelligent life out there is also suffering from the same limitations…  maybe they’re tucked away in their own corner of the universe, behind the billions and billions of stars we can actually see.  Maybe we’re all simply stuck where we are.

Everything is just too damn far away.  For now, at least.

So, as the ship’s console beeps again, all the Doctor can do is move his ship less than 1/10000000 of a degree over to scan even more billions and billions of stars, and continue to hope for a sign.

Originally Posted 3/1/2012

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“The Inexorable March of Time”

Time moves slowly, when you’re a child
The free summers drag on, so sunny and mild
Yesterday was forever ago, and tomorrow is even worse
The wait for each birthday feels like a sinister curse.

Soon, the weeks become months, the months become years
Time slips by so quickly, and your memory smears
It all blends together, and you forget what it’s like
To feel time is endless, like when you were a tyke

Time moved slowly, when you were a kid
But soon all that you do, becomes all that you did.
It shouldn’t be frightening; time is all relative
While you can’t slow down your life, you can be sure to live.

Originally Posted 8/8/2011

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“The Door That Won’t Stay Closed”

Young Jake wakes up, as he hears his closet door creek
It’s opened once more, and what’s inside is taking a peek.
He rushes to shut it, but he knows it won’t hold for good,
It will always try to come out, as it has since childhood.

He’s boarded it up tight, but it wiggles a way through
He’s hidden it out of sight, but still eternally it grew.

It won’t starve to death, no matter how much it’s ignored
It patiently sits back, waiting for a chance to be adored.
And when that day comes, it’ll enjoy the long-awaited limelight
Relishing that its existence will make them all sick at its sight.
Everyone who thought that they knew Jake, will realize they don’t.
He’ll hope things will stay the same, but he knows that it won’t.

It will rot slowly in the daylight, ripening as it stews in the open air
Its stench permanently soaked in the nostrils, of anyone who might care.

But for now all he can do, is repeatedly keep the door closed.
Knowing that it’s just a matter of time, till it’s all exposed.
He locks the door again, muffling its cringe inducing sound
And tries not to think of what’ll happen, when it is eventually found.

Posted 8/14/2012

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“Monsters Can Cry Too”

Just because he’s big and strong, he can still be glum
Monsters have feelings too, no matter how fearsome.
His heart beats the same as ours; just fueled by murderous glee
Their lives have the same ups and downs and bouts of melancholy.

The Monster is already ashamed, he doesn’t need your scorn
He simply wishes everyone was dead and that he was never born.
While he’ll take that back later, of course, for now it feels true.
His heart is filled with sorrow and he doesn’t know what to do.

His tears don’t make him weak or less of a savage beast
Soon he’ll be back on top and having a human baby feast.
Don’t try to make him feel better, there’s nothing you can say.
For now the Monster cries… and that is quite okay.

Originally Posted 9/2/2011

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“As the Sun Rises”, a Haiku

As the sun rises,
You get yet another chance
To screw up again.

Posted 7/19/2012 

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“The Ghosts That Watch You Sleep”

Ghosts are always watching, when you are asleep
In your private moments, they’ll spy and they’ll creep

Some are your relatives, being disappointed with all that you do
Some are complete strangers who simply enjoy watching you.

They whisper in your ears, helping nightmares haunt your dreams
They remind you of your failings, turning whispers into screams
They try to absorb your soul, inhaling all of your precious air
So you wake up feeling defeated, and just say “I don’t care”.

But while you’re never alone, and the ghosts are watching all
Don’t ever let them ever make you feel insignificant or small
They’re just jealous that you’re alive, since they aren’t any more
So laugh in their ghostly faces, and make them watch you snore.

Originally Posted 3/7/2012

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“The Idea of Nothingness”

8 year old Gustavo Ramirez stares out into the darkness of his bedroom, struggling to sleep, and he feels his mind wander into the blackness…

He imagines floating through space, passing the different galaxies along the way, and wonders how it all came to be— How did we get here?  How did the universe get created?  What was the beginning?  We’re “something” now… but was it nothing before?

Was the nothing like this, just inky darkness?  No… darkness is something.  A nothing would be like… umm…

And Gustavo feels his brain hit a snag, jerking the smooth wandering thought process to a stop.

What is nothing.

He has had these thoughts in passing moments before, but only now, in the dark stillness of night, does he have the chance to fully explore them without distraction.  He can feel the empty sensation of nothingness creep into his soul, folding his brain in half as he simply tries to picture the concept.

Images of his pets dying and him and his family being dead and forgotten as everything he knows and loves ultimately joining the forgotten nothingness of life all flash in his mind’s eye as he tries to grasp onto the idea of nothingness… and fails. 

He can feel the concept come closer, though, more clear, if he can just concentrate harder and remove any sense of light and darkness and sound and air and anything that is something…

Gustavo wakes up groggy and confused the next morning, his alarm blaring.  He hurries to run upstairs before his siblings eat the last of the box of cereal, and he shakes the box sadly as he realizes he was too late.

While eating half a’ bowl of cereal crumbs and the last splash of milk, Gustavo decides that it was better than nothing.

Posted 2/28/2012

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“Adventures Through the Multiverse”

Joy looks up as the console beeps, alerting her to the fact that one of the spheres within her holo-map of the giant, seemingly limitless Multiverse has registered a hit… She touches the sphere to check the data, and it’s clear: she found yet another version of herself in a parallel reality.

And now, just like before, there is only one option: she must murder this version of herself before this version of her kills her own version of herself first.

Since discovering the methods and technology that could enable one to travel between the various alternate universes via the nebulous void that connects all versions of reality, Joy quickly came to the realization that if this version of herself could make this discovery, then the other Joys could too…

And as her first thought immediately was “I must kill them and rob them of their life savings before they do the same to me”, she knows it was likely their first thought as well.  And so, obviously, the only proper thing to do is to find them and kill them first (which the other Joys may rudely be trying to do to her as well).

Luckily, in all of the Multiverses she’s found herself in so far, she is the first version of herself to make this discovery and has gotten the jump on every single version of Joy she has encountered yet.  Most weren’t even scientists working on the Hidden Multiverse Project, so it was comically easy to take advantage of their shock from realizing they were seeing a perfect replica of themselves and shoot them in the face before they could even process it.

Or, she’d pretend that she was them from the future and that she needed their help to save the galaxy, and then they’d foolishly trust her as she lured them to a safe place for her to shoot them in the face.

From there, she’d pose as herself and withdraw all of that parallel reality’s Joy’s money from the bank, and then escape back into the nebulous void before anyone’s the wiser and on her way to a new universe, with a new Joy to kill…

Since she’s only killing and robbing herself, it’s perfectly okay, Joy reasons.  It’s a victimless crime.

And there just isn’t room in the Multiverse for two Joys to exist peacefully.  She knows it, they’d know it, and ya know what?  It’s a shame but dangit it’s just a fact of life.  There can only be one.

With the wormhole closing around her and having successfully escaped back into the nebulous void after yet another murder/robbery, Joy smiles as she crosses another Joy off the list…

831 Joys dead, and only possibly an infinity left to go.

Posted 6/28/2012

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“The Girl Who is Always Bored”

There once was a girl who was always so bored
So her parents went and bought all the toys they could afford
And when she was tired of ‘em, she threw them in the trash
Then pouted and whined and with her teeth she did gnash!

Her parents wanted to help, so they asked her “what’s wrong?”
But the girl only kicked and screamed for an entire year long
They hoped the sea could entertain her, so they moved down to the shore
She yawned and burned the house down, because the ocean was a bore.

So they went to the city, and gave her all she could ever need
Made sure she had no problems at all, and paid her bad behaviour no heed
But this made it worse, and she got more bored than she ever was
Acting out and being annoying for no better reason than “just cuz”.

Since she had no real problems in her life, she had to create her own
And she entertained herself with fake problems even after she was grown.

Finally, on her deathbed, after a lifetime of feeling permanently ignored
She realizes that she is bored of being boring, and bored of being bored.
Alas! T’was too late, as the boredom was always in her head
And now from here and forevermore she’ll be boringly dead.

Posted 6/26/2012

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