The Daily Doodles

“The Girl Who Solved All Of Her Problems”

There once was a sad girl who had problems every day :’-(
Too many annoying people, each trying to have their say
She was sick of all the bastards, so she prayed for a solution
And God finally replied, “why not try a mass execution?”

“It just might work!” thought the girl, “I can at least give it a try”
So she got her best machete, and made a list of those to die.
She caught ‘em by surprise, killing them sleeping in their beds
And the girl amassed a great collection, of all their severed heads.

The brave go-getter girl slashed her way to a better life
As there’s nuthin’ that can’t be fixed with the serrated blade of a knife
After decapitating all her problems, the girl is happier than she’s ever been
And she lived happily ever after… with no problems ever again. :’-)

(Starring the nice lady from thatonecreepygirl.tumblr.com!)

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“The Boy Born in Blood”

There once was a boy who was born in blood
He burst from the womb amidst a great crimson flood.
Blood was the way and blood was his life,
He loved it so much he took blood as his wife.

Violently born and violently lived,
Isn’t aware to care whether or not he’ll be forgived.
A product of his times, built upon the culture of the past
Blood soaked to the bone, from his first day to his last.

And the boy born in blood will die the same way he came in,
Smothered in the gore and the guts of society’s sin.

Posted 2/2/2013

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“The Tea Party”

My Daddy never ever had time for tea,   
Because my daddy never ever had time for me.
But now he’s my tea party’s permanent guest,
After he let me sever his head, at his behest.

While his mouth may have said “No”, his heart said “okay :-)”
Why he’d never had tea with me, one could not say…
It’d ache in my soul, and I’d feel so alone
The pain in my heart would cut to the bone. :’-(

But he is here now, and here he will stay
First we’ll drink tea, and then forever we’ll play!

<3 <3 <3 I love you dad!  <3 <3 <3

Originally Posted 3/18/2012

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(Source: thedailydoodles)

“As the Sun Rises”, a Haiku

As the sun rises,
You get yet another chance
To screw up again.

Posted 7/19/2012 

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“Navigating the Treacherous and Political Waters of Friendship”

Pat Terrio isn’t allowed to like Steve (even though he seems like an alright dude) since Steve used to date Abby (who is now dating his friend Ryan), and therefore all past suitors of Abby have become persona non grata and he is forced to befriend both Angela (a woman he can’t stand) and Alan (a man who is unbearably dull) due to them working in positions of influence at Pat’s girlfriend’s place of employ and he has become aware that he must distance himself from Danny (a longtime friend) due to Danny making an off-colour joke at a party thrown by Pat’s friend Kaycee (a more recent friend) who he now must placate and feign shared disgust at the joke said by Danny so as to stay in Kaycee’s good graces as Kaycee’s family has a beach cabin that Pat hoped to visit and he must individually invite Mallorie, Hector, and Tony (co-worker friends) to go have drinks later tonight even though Mallorie, Hector, and Tony would never go have drinks but Pat must indulge in the charade of inviting them because they will be hopelessly distraught by the grievous insult of not being invited to something they’d never go to and he must prevent the trio from becoming disgruntled with his friendship and working against him behind the scenes and it all leads Pat to wonder why he even bothers having friends in the first place.

The only solution is to murder them all, since then he will be free to hang out with Steve, and Steve seems like an alright dude.

Posted 4/9/2012

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“The Tea Party”

My Daddy never ever had time for tea,   
Because my daddy never ever had time for me.
But now he’s my tea party’s permanent guest,
After he let me sever his head, at his behest.

While his mouth may have said “No”, his heart said “okay :-)”
Why he’d never had tea with me, one could not say…
It’d ache in my soul, and I’d feel so alone
The pain in my heart would cut to the bone. :’-(

But he is here now, and here he will stay
First we’ll drink tea, and then forever we’ll play!

<3 <3 <3 I love you dad!  <3 <3 <3

Posted 3/18/2012

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“All Problems Solved”

Marcus Schneider looks down at his test score, and sees exactly what he expected— another “F”.  He surely will have failed the class now, and might even have to repeat the entire 7th grade.

Ohhhhhhh his parents are going to be so angry…!  He’d give anything for them to not find out, but what can he do?  His grades will arrive in the mail any day now (and ever since he tried to hide the last one, his dad gets a copy mailed to his office too).

As he dwells on solutions to his problem, Marcus realizes that it really would be so, so awesome if his parents would just die before they got his report card.

Everyone would feel so bad for him!  Nobody would care about his insignificant bad grades right after his parent’s death.  And there’s no way the school would punish him either, not during his time of grief.  They’d likely even reward him for being so strong in the wake of his parent’s passing!

It truly would solve all of his problems, forever.

Plus, it’d really be the best for them.  It’ll break their poor little hearts to know how dumb he is… heck the disappointment alone might kill them anyways, so they might as well die beforehand, right?  Perhaps in a violent car crash, or maybe a mugging gone awry…

Bahhh… a boy could only be so lucky. :-/

Posted 12/30/2011

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The proud race of The Giants, got too big for this world
Unwilling to change their ways, their entire kingdom unfurled.
Greedy till the end, gobbling everything in sight,
What made them grow so big, also made them lose the fight.

The Lil’ Folks just had to wait, for The Giants to waste away
Their nature is what killed them, and their nature became passe.
Human joints and bones, aren’t made to handle all that mass
The Giants’ tiny hearts gave out, and they completely ran out of gas.

It took years for the Lil’ Folks, to clean up the messes The Giants left
(Just dealing with their bloated corpses, made them feel quite bereft)
But it was worth it in the end, for the world was again their own
Until the inevitable day, when a new generation of Giants is grown.

Posted 12/11/2011

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Mongo the Bear can’t wait to tell Kevin the good news. :-)

Ever since overhearing Kevin’s mother telling his father that she thinks Kevin has gotten too old to be playing with stuffed animals, Mongo has been worried… he cherished his time with Kevin above all else, and the day wasn’t complete if he couldn’t end it in Kevin’s arms at night.  To think the boy’s mom might try to drive a wedge between their relationship… this was unacceptable.

So, Mongo drowns Kevin’s heartless controlling wretched beast of a mother deep at sea.

As he paddles back to shore, Mongo thinks of the glorious family he and Kevin will make one day, and he knows that he would never ever in a million years dream of preventing his child from experiencing true love, and if he did, he would hope someone would drown him as well.

It’s what a monster like that deserves.

Posted 12/6/2011

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