The Daily Doodles

“There Ain’t No Laws in Space”

Did you ever know that there ain’t no laws in space?
You could lure your enemy to the moon, and shoot them in the face.
If the police try to hassle ya, tell ‘em they got no jurisdiction!
They have no right to interfere with your murderous predilection

So blow up a hospital on Venus, or rob a bank on Mars
Run over Jupiter’s orphans while driving stolen cars
If there’s no laws to stop ya, then it must be quite alright!
No need to hide your fiendish crimes each and every night.

And even God will be proud that you found this loophole
His rules only apply to Earth, so don’t worry about your soul
With a sly wink and a nod, God will look the other way
Just stay forever in outer space, and you’ll never have to pay.

SPACE!

(Thank you to the incredibly talented Samantha of Other-side-of-the-universe.com for helping me GIF this!  GO FOLLOW HER)

Wanna star in your very own Daily Doodle?  CLICK HERE!
FAQ  TWITTER  FACEBOOK  SOCIETY6

“The King of the Silly Gooses”

There once was a boy who was such a silly little goose
He wrapped a rope around his parent’s necks and tightened the noose
And just when they were hung within an inch of their life
He graciously cut them down with his silly butcher’s knife

And then, gasping for air, his parents happily said—
“Oh thank you our silly boy, for not hanging us dead!”

And the boy bowed and responded, “why, think nothing of it!”
Before stabbing them with a homemade shiv right in their gullet.

He then sillily severed their heads; chained a spike through each dome
And then went on a wacky parade all over their silly home.

As he marched and he stomped, he bellowed out loud:
“I am the King of the Silly Gooses, and of that I am proud!”

(Dedicated to my nephew Cooper, who is turning 2 years old today!)

Wanna star in your very own Daily Doodle?  CLICK HERE!
FAQ  TWITTER  FACEBOOK  SOCIETY6

(Source: thedailydoodles, via thedailydoodles)

“The Boy Who Was Born With Burnt Out Eyes”

The boy who was born with scabby burnt out eyes,
Hears his mom tell him he’s handsome, but it’s nothing but lies.
She shrieked when he was born, and tried to throw him away
But the boy followed her home, and since has been able to stay.

With no limbs and no nose, he often angrily feels shorted
Every Christmas he asks Santa if he can just be aborted.
But each year he wakes up, and wobbles down the stair
And doesn’t unwrap the gift of death, because Santa doesn’t care :’-/

His head is misshapened, with the puckered skin of a fish
Kids throw coins in his mouth, and then make a wish.
To stay cool in the summers, he secretes a radioactive blue ooze
And his existence was slammed by the local news.

No matter how bad it gets, he never stops and asks himself “why?”
And that’s because he’s a sissy, and the idea makes him cry.
The only logical conclusion is that he’s being punished for a past life
Where he cut the heads off of orphans, and punched his common-law wife.

So each night he dreams, as his mom locks him back up in his cage
That some day he can take advantage of all of this pent up rage.
It won’t be with this body, but he’ll make them all come unfurled…
He’ll just have to wait till his next life till he can murder the world.

Originally Posted 9/27/2012

Wanna star in your very own Daily Doodle?  CLICK HERE!
FAQ  TWITTER  FACEBOOK  SOCIETY6

(Source: thedailydoodles)

“One Last Regret Before Death”, a Haiku

If there’s one regret,
It’s getting shot in the face…
That was annnnnoyingggggggggg >____<

Posted 10/3/2012

Wanna star in your very own Daily Doodle?  CLICK HERE!
FAQ  TWITTER  FACEBOOK  SOCIETY6

“The Boy Who Was Born With Burnt Out Eyes”

The boy who was born with scabby burnt out eyes,
Hears his mom tell him he’s handsome, but it’s nothing but lies.
She shrieked when he was born, and tried to throw him away
But the boy followed her home, and since has been able to stay.

With no limbs and no nose, he often angrily feels shorted
Every Christmas he asks Santa if he can just be aborted.
But each year he wakes up, and wobbles down the stair
And doesn’t unwrap the gift of death, because Santa doesn’t care :’-/

His head is misshapened, with the puckered skin of a fish
Kids throw coins in his mouth, and then make a wish.
To stay cool in the summers, he secretes a radioactive blue ooze
And his existence was slammed by the local news.

No matter how bad it gets, he never stops and asks himself “why?”
And that’s because he’s a sissy, and the idea makes him cry.
The only logical conclusion is that he’s being punished for a past life
Where he cut the heads off of orphans, and punched his common-law wife.

So each night he dreams, as his mom locks him back up in his cage
That some day he can take advantage of all of this pent up rage.
It won’t be with this body, but he’ll make them all come unfurled…
He’ll just have to wait till his next life till he can murder the world.

Posted 9/27/2012

Wanna star in your very own Daily Doodle?  CLICK HERE!
FAQ  TWITTER  FACEBOOK  SOCIETY6

“Just Another Day Closer to Death”

WAKE UP! WAKE UP!, because it’s a bright sunny day! :-)
Gotta face the world for your sins because it’s time to pay
It’s just another day closer to your eventual death,
Grudgingly trudging ever forward to your final last breath.

So Good Morning Mr. Lamp, my anthropomorphic friend!
I know you’ll give me light until the very end
Good morning Admiral Pillows, you hold my weary head
I hope you’ll have that job until the day I am dead
Ahoy! Lt. Windows, Baron von Blankie, even Capt. Colonel Clock
That my only friends are possessions shouldn’t come as a shock.

Because in geological terms, humans are but a blip
So what does it matter if you let relationships slip?
It’s all meaningless distractions to occupy our time
Until we’re dead in the ground, rotting away into slime.

But ya gotta fill the void with sumthin’!  Might as well just live.
So go wake up and have a life, ‘cuz it’s all ya got to give.

Posted 5/22/2012

Wanna star in your very own Daily Doodle?  CLICK HERE!
FAQ  TWITTER  FACEBOOK  SOCIETY6

With an atomic powered battery sporting a half-life of 3,500,000 years and a multipurpose gripping claw and dual hover-orb propellant systems, the repair Droid D0bb-3i was perfectly suited for an Utility Assistants position on virtually any long distance space craft meant to explore and colonize the universe.

What D0bb-3i was LESS suited for, however, was being the sole survivor of a fission-related mishap that caused his space-craft he was employed on to explode as soon as it began to leave Earth’s orbit.

With his communication antenna damaged by the blast, and his normally sufficient hover-orbs powerless when attempting to travel across open space, the repair Droid is slowly pulled into Earth’s orbit…  where for thousands of years he rotates around the globe, his strong atomic battery keeping him alive and alert.

Over time, more and more space junk and debris joins D0bb-3i, and eventually the garbage develops into beautiful, multi-coloured rings that can be seen for millions of miles.  Imagining Earth without its famous rings becomes impossible for any citizen of the galaxy, and the memory of a ringless planet is a distant and unfathomable one.

Over even more time, the space junk surrounding the Earth begins to obscure almost all natural sunlight, so a controversial and expensive plan to de-ringify the Rings of Earth is embarked upon— and finally, after 273,879 years of orbiting the Earth, the droid D0bb-3i is discovered and rescued safe and sound.

He is reunited with his robot wife and two robot children, and wrote a book about the experience called “It Was Fine At First and Then Got Really Boring”.

Posted 11/7/2011

Wanna star in your very own Daily Doodle?  CLICK HERE!
FAQ  TWITTER  FACEBOOK

CLICK HERE to read Yesterday’s Doodle!