“The Pretty Neat Trick”
Daddy was calling Mommy some quite silly dilly names
And while Cooper normally liked most of Goofy Daddy’s games,
Mommy was only crying, she wasn’t having any fun :’-(
So Cooper had to put Papa in time out, so he stops hurting everyone.
Cooper had kept it as a secret, but he knew that if he focused hard
He could get inside others’ heads, and explode them like a petard.
Cooper only counted to three (but he could count all the way to five)
And said “Daddy stop being naughty if you want to stay alive!”
Daddy didn’t seem to listen, he was too busy being grouchie
So Cooper had to get his attention by making him ouchie.
He invaded Grumpy Daddy’s brain and spread as quick as germs
Then proceeded to rip his brain apart and turn his muscles into worms.
Cooper giggled gleefully, and thought that Daddy must like this trick
Because Daddy is finally quiet, and was liquifying pretty quick
His skin melted down like porridge, and his fingernails scabbed off
Then all his internal organs were expelled with a wet, hacking cough.
Cooper stops and bows, and watches his Daddy’s body drizzle
The runny lard falls in plops and his popped eyeballs hiss and sizzle.
“Daddy please understand, this hurts me more than it hurts you”
“You have to consider the ramifications of everything you do”
But Daddy didn’t respond, and Cooper just hoped the lesson had been learned
Mommy helped Cooper hide the body, and had Daddy’s possessions burned.
Later as she tucked Cooper into bed, she smiled and wept a single tear
And told Cooper that she was officially nominating him for Boy of the Year.
Hooray for Cooper!
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