"The Boy Who Dreams of the Best Way to Die"
The young boy gazes off into the distance, lost in a dream
He decides while a good life is important, the end is supreme!
While everybody dies, not all deaths are equal
If a movie ends poorly, you don’t wanna see the sequel.
But Gosh! How can he decide? There’s so many ways to go!
Maybe rescue some orphans and then melt in an acid flow?
Perhaps bugs nibble him dead slowly, deep in the Amazon,
Or gangsters machine-gunning his face in Azerbaijan?
He could drown at sea happily, but is there a better choice?
If he could jump on a nuke to save a town, he’d certainly rejoice.
Ooh how about leaping in a volcano, to appease primitive angry gods?
Or kidnapped by aliens and gruesomely dissected in their space-pods.
So many great ways to die! As many choices as the day is long.
And as long as the funeral is a closed casket, then no choice is wrong.
Originally Posted 10/29/2011
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