The Daily Doodles |
My name is David Michael Chandler, and everyday I will post a Daily Doodle with a story attached to it. Everything you see here has been written, drawn, and coloured all on my lonesome. I hope you enjoy them, or die trying. Please E-mail anytime at thedailydoodles@gmail.com |
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“The Post-Funpocalypse”
(A Classique Doodle from 10/18/2011)In the months leading up to the apocalypse, people sure seemed to be making it sound like a big deal… but now that it has happened, Brian Hawkins doesn’t get why there was such a fuss. What the heck were they worried about? The apocalypse is awesome.
Still grinning from ear to ear since his dad let him put in the final head-shots to kill the Nuclear Mutants they just came across as they navigate the post-apocalyptic wasteland of Earth, Brian steps back mentally for a moment and reflects on the wonder of it all— out on the open road, less people to deal with, adventure every dang day… he’s even already killed 17 men and mutants and he’s only 9 years old… that’s almost 2 for each year he’s been alive! That’s so cool!
Plus, since clean drinking water is so scarce, his mom isn’t bugging him about taking a bath. She didn’t survive the apocalypse, of course, so she isn’t around to bug him even if there WAS enough water, but still. And last week when scavenging through a pile of rotting corpses, he found a real Indian arrow-head necklace!
The best part, though, is now he finally gets to spend time with his papa… before the apocalypse, dad was always in the office working, traveling; Brian hardly saw him. But now that the rest of his family is dead, he gets all the father and son bonding time a boy could ever hope for.
It just feels nice.
The post-apocalypse is the most fun he’s ever had, and Brian hopes that civilization never claws its way back from the pits of hell.
Originally Posted 10/18/2011
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“Goodnight, Son”
O’ father o’ father, I love my dog so
I’d be ever so sad, if she were to go :’-/Hush my sweet boy, it pains me to see you cry!
I just want you to know, your dog will certainly die.But please do not worry! Because there is more
Me and your mother shall die, just as ours did before.
Your sister’s tender hearts will clog up and burst,
(Although, statistically, you’ll likely die first).Our whole family will be gone, and not remembered at all
And the sun will explode into a gigantic fireball.
As the sun dies, it’ll become a deadly blackhole
Where no light can escape it, and neither can your soul.
The earth will be sucked in, life as we know it will end
It’s the one certainty of existence of which you can depend.So you have no reason to worry! We’re all born to be dead
Just close those tired eyes, and rest your weary head.Goodnight, son.
Posted 3/29/2012
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Notes “The Demon Who Successfully Stole a Fresh Baby But Doesn’t Know How To Cook It and Refuses To Call His Dad To Ask For Help”
Grgrznyk the Demon was finally going to shove it in his dad’s stupid face.
His dad always teased him, taunted him, telling him that he wasn’t Demon enough to kidnap a baby from a crying mother’s desperate clutches— and even if he DID somehow luck into a living baby, he wouldn’t know the first thing to do with it. Young Demons of today are SOFT!
Well, dammit, Grgrznyk was gonna show his dad what’s what… now, he might not have ripped the baby from a mother’s loving embrace because it seemed overly harsh (opting instead to delicately snag it from its crib), but he got the baby all the same so what does it matter? Now he just needs to cook it, and… uh…
Crap. Grgrznyk realizes he has no idea how to cook the baby. DAMMIT.
And there’s NO WAY he’s gonna call his dad and ask for help… he’d never hear the end of it!
Maybe he’s supposed to boil it? It seems like it might work, but he also remembers the baby he ate as a kid having a crispy skin… it wouldn’t be crispy if he boiled it…or… maybe it would? Does he take the pajamas off? You’re not supposed to eat that, right? Or…? And what about the diaper?
It is kinda weird to have to kill and cook it yourself… seems so simple when he’s eating a juicy slice of baby meat off his dinner plate. What the heck is he supposed to do first?!
Nothing frustrates Grgrznyk more than proving his dad right, and he’ll be damned if he’s gonna let that happen.
But… this baby sure is pretty cute when it’s alive, though… sitting there giggling all precious like…
Dammit!!
Posted 12/5/2011
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