The Daily Doodles

“The Girl Who is Always Bored”

There once was a girl who was always so bored
So her parents went and bought all the toys they could afford
And when she was tired of ‘em, she threw them in the trash
Then pouted and whined and with her teeth she did gnash!

Her parents wanted to help, so they asked her “what’s wrong?”
But the girl only kicked and screamed for an entire year long
They hoped the sea could entertain her, so they moved down to the shore
She yawned and burned the house down, because the ocean was a bore.

So they went to the city, and gave her all she could ever need
Made sure she had no problems at all, and paid her bad behaviour no heed
But this made it worse, and she got more bored than she ever was
Acting out and being annoying for no better reason than “just cuz”.

Since she had no real problems in her life, she had to create her own
And she entertained herself with fake problems even after she was grown.

Finally, on her deathbed, after a lifetime of feeling permanently ignored
She realizes that she is bored of being boring, and bored of being bored.
Alas! T’was too late, as the boredom was always in her head
And now from here and forevermore she’ll be boringly dead.

Posted 6/26/2012

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“The Exhaustive Search for Fellow Survivors”

Part 3 in The Ongoing Adventures of Haley Adams, The Last Girl on Earth.

(Click here for Part I, and here for Part II)

Bored with being the “Last Girl on Earth” (and growing increasingly tired of the ever-present infestation of Demons haunting her every move in the shadows), Haley Adams manages to convince herself that she couldn’t POSSIBLY be the only human who is still alive.

So, she dons her nicest scavenged gasmask and her jauntiest pair of goggles, and sets out into the nuclear wastelands to find her fellow survivors. 

“Finally!”, she sighs, “Something interesting to do!”

Since she’s only 9 years old and her parents were mostly preoccupied with dying in the apocalypse, Haley was never taught how to drive… and after several failed attempts at trying to teach herself how to work a stick shift on the family car, she decides she will just be one of those people who enjoy walking great distances.  Who even needs a car these days?!

After only 3 kilometers on her short legs, though, her enthusiasm for the expedition wains and Haley plops down on the curb, having decided that she has earned a break.

While sitting, she can feel the boredom seeping back in, and soon the boredom turns into tiredness and tiredness turns to sleepiness and sleepiness turns into nap time.

Haley wakes up with a start— and finds dozens of hissing, snapping demons staring her right in the face, filling her field of sight.

They all cackle evilly in unison, as their skin boils and bubbles up and rots away layer after layer, dissolving into visions of Haley’s dead family having their orifices widened and excavated by various glistening, moist living fangs that tear her family to shreds, one excruciatingly ripping bite at a time.

A demonic voice sings:
“They eat our entrails and drink our pus
So end their torture, and come with us”

Haley rolls her eyes and sighs… maybe when she was 8 this would have been scary, but she’s 9.  This is more just annoying, really.

She turns around and heads back home, and decides that even if she ISN’T the last human left on Earth, if there is truly anyone else alive they should have the common courtesy to come to her.

Posted 1/28/2012

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