O’ father o’ father, I love my dog so
I’d be ever so sad, if she were to go :’-/
Hush my sweet boy, it pains me to see you cry!
I just want you to know, your dog will certainly die.
But please do not worry! Because there is more
Me and your mother shall die, just as ours did before.
Your sister’s tender hearts will clog up and burst,
(Although, statistically, you’ll likely die first).
Our whole family will be gone, and not remembered at all
And the sun will explode into a gigantic fireball.
As the sun dies, it’ll become a deadly blackhole
Where no light can escape it, and neither can your soul.
The earth will be sucked in, life as we know it will end
It’s the one certainty of existence of which you can depend.
So you have no reason to worry! We’re all born to be dead
Just close those tired eyes, and rest your weary head.
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