The Daily Doodles

“All Problems Solved”

Marcus Schneider looks down at his test score, and sees exactly what he expected— another “F”.  He surely will have failed the class now, and might even have to repeat the entire 7th grade.

Ohhhhhhh his parents are going to be so angry…!  He’d give anything for them to not find out, but what can he do?  His grades will arrive in the mail any day now (and ever since he tried to hide the last one, his dad gets a copy mailed to his office too).

As he dwells on solutions to his problem, Marcus realizes that it really would be so, so awesome if his parents would just die before they got his report card.

Everyone would feel so bad for him!  Nobody would care about his insignificant bad grades right after his parent’s death.  And there’s no way the school would punish him either, not during his time of grief.  They’d likely even reward him for being so strong in the wake of his parent’s passing!

It truly would solve all of his problems, forever.

Plus, it’d really be the best for them.  It’ll break their poor little hearts to know how dumb he is… heck the disappointment alone might kill them anyways, so they might as well die beforehand, right?  Perhaps in a violent car crash, or maybe a mugging gone awry…

Bahhh… a boy could only be so lucky. :-/

Posted 12/30/2011

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