The Daily Doodles

Halfway through the several year space-journey to the New World Colonies, Roger Christenson had a depressing epiphany:  even though he left Earth for a fresh start, he was still just going to be ‘himself’… a boring Robot Diagnostician Junior Assistant who had accomplished nothing in his life, had no friends or family, no interesting stories or experiences— so what was really changing?

He knew that being unhappy with who he is as a person, but on a new planet, wasn’t much of a difference. 

Luckily, however, Roger had a second epiphany: there’s no need to beat himself up over not having done anything with his life since he can just lie and say he has.  He can’t believe he never thought of this before!

Roger spends the rest of the trip to the New World creating a new elaborate backstory for himself designed to make him appear interesting and cool… he rehearses a sense of superior detachment to the fantastical adventures he is lying about having had, so as to seem almost bored with how fascinating he is.  He thinks up different conversational entry points to drop bits and pieces of his fictional history; smooth segues meant to let the listener see how amazing Roger is, but not appear forced or overly eager to share.

If anyone starts asking too many detailed questions about the experiences Roger didn’t have, he decides that he’ll just get a far off look in his eye and go quiet… that will lie better than any words could.

Plus, what the other person imagines will almost always be cooler than what he could make up, and they’ll usually just imagine what they HOPE the story is… it’s the perfect crime!

As he tells the captivated fellow colonists at the breakfast buffet about how anti-technology terrorists murdered his wife and twin baby daughters before going stoically quiet as he runs out of ideas of what to lie about, Roger wonders why everyone doesn’t do this.

Posted 9/27/2011

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