The Daily Doodles |
My name is David Michael Chandler, and everyday I will post a Daily Doodle with a story attached to it. Everything you see here has been written, drawn, and coloured all on my lonesome. I hope you enjoy them, or die trying. Please E-mail anytime at thedailydoodles@gmail.com |
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“Defragmenting the Brain”
Horrible memories next to good means the two often commingle.
You wish to remember a nice moment, but get that uneasy tingle.
Pleasant nostalgia ruined by things you wish you could erase.
Forgetting is usually impossible, but brains have a lot of open space.Simply defragment your brain, store the dark memories to the side,
In the empty unused portions of the mind, you put them to hide.
There they can’t bug you, or infest what you wish to recall,
No more pausing on past regrets, slowing your brain to a crawl.You’ll live happier not remembering anything that made you sad.
Filled with confidence knowing that you never did anything bad.
While over time that data may leak out, and flashes break through,
Just defragment your brain again, and you’ll never have to be you.(A Golden Oldie originally posted 10/24/2011)
Wanna appear in your very own Daily Doodle? CLICK HERE!
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“There Ain’t No Laws in Space”
Did you ever know that there ain’t no laws in space?
You could lure your enemy to the moon, and shoot them in the face.
If the police try to hassle ya, tell ‘em they got no jurisdiction!
They have no right to interfere with your murderous predilectionSo blow up a hospital on Venus, or rob a bank on Mars
Run over Jupiter’s orphans while driving stolen cars
If there’s no laws to stop ya, then it must be quite alright!
No need to hide your fiendish crimes each and every night.And even God will be proud that you found this loophole
His rules only apply to Earth, so don’t worry about your soul
With a sly wink and a nod, God will look the other way
Just stay forever in outer space, and you’ll never have to pay.SPACE!
(Thank you to the incredibly talented Samantha of Other-side-of-the-universe.com for helping me GIF this! GO FOLLOW HER)
Wanna star in your very own Daily Doodle? CLICK HERE!
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“Orbiting the New World”
With his exploration and reconnaissance ship having safely entered into low orbit around the planet, Simon Reynolds floats into the observation deck to take a better look at humankind’s new home.
The lush landscape rolls by quickly, and the familiar Earth-like features of savannas, oceans, beaches, mountains, forests, rivers… it all helps calm Simon’s worries about the mass exodus from Earth and the subsequent re-habitation to take place over the next 50 years. Everyone will love this new world.
To make it fit for human life, though, a quick and painless culling of the native population will have to take place; preferably before the media back home learn of the planet and begin calling the new world a “name” (it’s always harder to get away with the necessary genocide if the bleeding hearts back home can have a catchy name to call the natives). Such things are best done quickly, and aren’t usually fit for public consumption.
Most just don’t have the stomach for the realities of the situation, is all.
Soon after Simon’s strategically targeted cleansing implantations (such as infecting the main sources of drinking water, the soil the crops are grown in, and the animals that the natives interact with the most), the planet will be blanketed with carefully refined Earth-diseases that the natives have no natural antibodies for— and after a few years, the indigenous human-like population of the new world will be down to a manageable level and Simon and the Intergalactic Settlement Company can begin building the first settlements and outposts without worrying about the inconvenience of a native reprisal.
It’s all standard operating procedure, of course, to prevent trouble down the road. If they’re lucky enough to eliminate the natives entirely, that’d be great, but Simon knows it’s more likely that they’ll have to engage in an aggressive media campaign that downplays the genocide-y aspects of the cleansing and focuses mostly on the necessity of preparing a foreign planet’s environment for future human settlements.
The only real problem Simon can see is a somewhat obvious one: while the untouched virgin beauty of the undeveloped planet seems nice in theory, modern humans don’t actually like things quite this “rustic”. They’ll have to clear many of these forests and green valleys that look so beautiful from the cozy view of an orbiting spaceship if the Earthlings are gonna have the infrastructure they’ve become accustomed to.
It may be rough at first, but after several generations of hard work and intensive modernizing of the new world’s natural environment, Simon knows in his heart that any remaining natives will have the good sense to be thankful for all of this.
In the end, it’s all for the best.
(Thank you to the amazingly talented Samantha of Other-side-of-the-universe.com for giffing this for me!)Wanna appear in your very own Daily Doodle? CLICK HERE!
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“The Boy Who Was Born With Burnt Out Eyes”
The boy who was born with scabby burnt out eyes,
Hears his mom tell him he’s handsome, but it’s nothing but lies.
She shrieked when he was born, and tried to throw him away
But the boy followed her home, and since has been able to stay.With no limbs and no nose, he often angrily feels shorted
Every Christmas he asks Santa if he can just be aborted.
But each year he wakes up, and wobbles down the stair
And doesn’t unwrap the gift of death, because Santa doesn’t care :’-/His head is misshapened, with the puckered skin of a fish
Kids throw coins in his mouth, and then make a wish.
To stay cool in the summers, he secretes a radioactive blue ooze
And his existence was slammed by the local news.No matter how bad it gets, he never stops and asks himself “why?”
And that’s because he’s a sissy, and the idea makes him cry.
The only logical conclusion is that he’s being punished for a past life
Where he cut the heads off of orphans, and punched his common-law wife.So each night he dreams, as his mom locks him back up in his cage
That some day he can take advantage of all of this pent up rage.
It won’t be with this body, but he’ll make them all come unfurled…
He’ll just have to wait till his next life till he can murder the world.Wanna star in your very own Daily Doodle? CLICK HERE!
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“Be Home Before Dark”
Cycling back from school, he feels the wind in his hair
The cold wind is nipping at his face, and freedom is in the air
With his bike he is unchained, and the entire world he could roam
There’s no reason he couldn’t keep going, and never return home.The thought romantically feels tempting,
As he passes the homeless people in the park…
But this time he’ll keep his promise,
And be home before dark.Wanna appear in your very own Daily Doodle? CLICK HERE!
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“The Boy Who Isn’t Really All That Special”
Danny walks down the hallway, into the living room
Everyone is fast asleep, but Danny is filled with doom and gloom
He may not ever realize, but his subconscious already knows
That’s he’s just really not that special, and it obviously shows.Even though he’s only seven, it’s still abundantly clear
That he ain’t curing any disease, or winning Boy of the Year.
No society changing inventions will come from his average mind,
And his thoughts and/or opinions will never alter the course of humankind.He doesn’t know that yet, and he’ll always be told a lie
That he’s a unique snowflake, and a special lil’ guy.
He’ll belabour under this myth for a lifetime’s worth of years,
Living an average life filled with average happiness and tears.But does it really matter if Danny isn’t the special-est guy on Earth?
And the world won’t feel any impact from his death or birth?
Because if EVERYONE is special, then no one really is
Each person has their role to play, and being Un-Special is his.Wanna appear in your very own Daily Doodle? CLICK HERE!
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“Just One More Wasted Day”
As nighttime turns to day,
and daytime turns to night
You sit alone in your room,
bathed in your laptop’s lightThinking back to your youth,
remembering all that you have seen,
Your best times were always spent
Staring at your computer screen.So while life is passing by,
As you spend it clicking and scrolling away
It must be fine for now,
since it’s just one more wasted day.(Thank you to Chiara Adams of Doublethink Design for .giffing this for me!)
Wanna appear in your very own Daily Doodle? CLICK HERE!
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Notes Would You Like to Star in Your Very Own Daily Doodle? And Own It?(EDIT 4/25/2013— I’ve made some small changes to my Star in a Daily Doodle/Commissions program, and I’ve added a brand spanking new fancy GIF option!)
Does the loneliness get too much to handle sometimes? Don’t you wish there was a way to deal with the madness of modern life?
I found the solution— STARRING IN YOUR VERY OWN DAILY DOODLE! Or even owning the original piece of art! Everything is handmade, no Photoshop witchcraft is afoot here (except for gifs).
If you DONATE HERE:
$25 OR MORE: You get to star in your very own Daily Doodle! I will draw you as sexy, as scandalously roguish, or as cute as you really are inside.
or
$50 OR MORE: You get to OWN the original art of your very own Daily Doodle! Or, you can purchase an old favourite of yours— just ask!
$100 OR MORE: I will create an original GIF that stars you! They take longer to make and are fancy, thus they cost more.
It’s very simple, I swearsies. I am doing this because it is FUN, and because I am broke as a skunk. EXTREMELY broke. PATHETICALLY poor! Could there BE any better reasons?
That’s all the IMPORTANT details, but if you wish to know more about the process of Starring In or Purchasing a Daily Doodle, read below:
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“The Sea of Dead Children”
Margaret Jane died whilst in a slumber so deep
Tragically murdered in her bed as she was fast asleep
She opens her eyes with a fright, hoping it ‘twas just a dream
But the water fills her lungs, drowning out her blood curdling screamFor if a poor child dies before the age of eleven
They don’t go to Hell, and they don’t go to Heaven
The Sea of Dead Children becomes their new home
Upon the ocean’s floor, their souls eternally roam.The ghostly hands grip tight, pulling Margaret Jane down
Even though she already died, her soul has to drown.
Dead children are always excited to play with someone new
Since the afterlife can be boring, so it’s something to do. :-)Deeper and deeper she goes, into the dark depths of the sea
To play with every child who ever died, for the rest of eternityWanna star in your very own Daily Doodle? CLICK HERE!
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“Waiting for the Train”
Train after train passes by, each more empty than the last and none going where he needs to go, so Kyle sighs dramatically to see if he can make a loud enough noise to echo in the desolate subway station (he can’t).
He refuses to check his phone to see when his train is even scheduled to arrive, since that would show he cares, and Kyle feels the need to passive-aggressively take a stand to no one in particular to prove how much he simply doesn’t care.
Plus it’s more fun to sigh and moan over the train’s assumed lateness, acting as if it’s a huge annoyance, even though he keeps telling himself he doesn’t even wanna go. Being upset over it at least passes the time while he waits.
Having laid in bed for days, too depressed to move, Kyle somehow dragged himself out of his apartment to go meet up with some of his friends like he had promised over a week ago. He finds it hard to imagine that people do this every day, and that they even look forward to hanging out with people… it’s all such a hassle.
It was exhausting to even get this far with it…!
His train finally arrives, but Kyle decides he’ll just text his friends a happy lie so he can go back home and be alone.
(Thank you to the Sensational Samantha of other-side-of-the-universe.com for helping me gif this once again!!)
Wanna star in your very own Daily Doodle? CLICK HERE!
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