The Daily Doodles

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“Stranded on the Moon, High on Blur, and Watching World War 3 Destroy the Earth”

Funding for the International Moon Base had hit an all-time low. 

Though it was long his childhood dream to live upon the moon, the missions have become longer, rations and supplies scarcer, and a quirk in the rotations schedule has left him alone upon the moon for the last 8 months.  

He’s now nothing more than a glorified caretaker of an expensive relic that no one wants to pay for.

To pass the time, he has developed a strong addiction to “Blur”– an opiate-like hallucinogen administered through an eye dropper that creates warm soothing visions for hours a dose. 

He rationalizes his addiction by telling himself that the drug causes him to breathe less of the air supply, and eat less food… which are both true, but only helps obscure the lie. 

Month after month, the scheduled date to bring him back to Earth is pushed out further into the future as a tense political climate back home has made him a low priority.  8 months in solitude on the moon become 12, and then 16.  In month 18, World War 3 erupts across the globe.

He watches the bombs destroy everything he once loved all through the blissful haze of Blur induced visions.  The indescribable mix of sheer horror and pleasure will haunt him for the rest of his days. 

By month 34, he is the last human in the galaxy.

(Starring the Timetraveler Ki! Click here to download his new song “Nebula” on iTunes)

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“The Boy Who Was Born With Burnt Out Eyes”

The boy who was born with scabby burnt out eyes,
Hears his mom tell him he’s handsome, but it’s nothing but lies.
She shrieked when he was born, and tried to throw him away
But the boy followed her home, and since has been able to stay.

With no limbs and no nose, he often angrily feels shorted
Every Christmas he asks Santa if he can just be aborted.
But each year he wakes up, and wobbles down the stair
And doesn’t unwrap the gift of death, because Santa doesn’t care :’-/

His head is misshapened, with the puckered skin of a fish
Kids throw coins in his mouth, and then make a wish.
To stay cool in the summers, he secretes a radioactive blue ooze
And his existence was slammed by the local news.

No matter how bad it gets, he never stops and asks himself “why?”
And that’s because he’s a sissy, and the idea makes him cry.
The only logical conclusion is that he’s being punished for a past life
Where he cut the heads off of orphans, and punched his common-law wife.

So each night he dreams, as his mom locks him back up in his cage
That some day he can take advantage of all of this pent up rage.
It won’t be with this body, but he’ll make them all come unfurled…
He’ll just have to wait till his next life till he can murder the world.

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“Watching the Suicides Go By”

Ever since she was a child, Rachel always enjoyed the sound
Of people jumping off tall buildings and landing on the ground.
Nostalgia floods her senses, reminding her of her childhood home
The jumpers would pepper her roof, and she’d hear the pop of their dome

Rachel tries to savour it, as mass suicides never last.
So she stops what she’s doing, unlike times in the past,
When she took the phenomenon for granted, and didn’t really realize
That these moments are fleeting, even if everyone always dies.

Tomorrow she’ll check what nice apartments are now available to rent
And try not to get lost in cosmic questioning of this sporadic event
For now she’ll revel in the moment, sunset and death out her window
The peace and calm reminding her she has her own tomorrow.

(Starring the amazing Rachel of Theartofawesome.tumblr.com!)

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“To Live and Die Mining the Asteroid Belt”
(Version 2)

Every mineable chunk of asteroid is worth maybe a few billion each
So Morgan took the job utilizing soundwaves to breach
The integrity of the asteroid and blow it apart
Setting up atomic-sonic-mining rigs to give herself a fresh start.

It’s a 31 month rotation after a 6 year journey
And Morgan knows it’s statistically likely she goes home on a gurney
Since the fatality rate for miners is around 79 percent
But everyone dies sometime, and Morgan had to cover back-rent.

Living on recycled air, feeling the pull of Jupiter grind down her bones
For the privilege of getting the job she had to take out massive loans
To rent her used spacesuit, and all of the equipment on the base
But she’ll make a nice profit if she survives the radiation of deep space.

If she had kids this would be for them, but there’s been no time for that yet
Ya gotta make it to month 23 before you’re even out of debt.
The last 8 months is all gravy, as long as you don’t die
And resist the temptation of throwing yourself into Jupiter’s Eye.

(Starring Morgan Paige!  Follow her on Tumblr and watch her great videos on Youtube!)

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“A Close Call”

As Alex Dorsey looks across the yard at Mariangela Diaz, he has no idea that in 99.99999% of the parallel universes that him and Mariangela both exist in, they actually meet at this party and embark on a horribly destructive and lengthy love affair that ruins both of their lives and leaves them bitter, hollow shells of their former selves… creating a legacy of pain and sorrow for generations.

FORTUNATELY, this version of Alex and Mariangela happen to live in the parallel reality where Mariangela picked up smoking at the age of 16 (which only occurs in .00001% of the parallel universes she and Alex exist in), so that when Alex spotted her from across the room, he thought to himself “I don’t like smoking” and then quickly looked away… never to think of her again.

While each of their paths in time always lead them here to this party, in this universe they thankfully do not continue together… both of them never knowing how close they came to lives of pure misery.

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“A Robot Sitting Inside on a Snowy Day, Reflecting Upon a Life Spent Killing Humans and Amassing a Large Fortune”

The Robot thinks back, and remembers the first he strangled…

It was his Boy, his child owner; actually the 7th Boy and family he had been owned by, and they had rescued him from The Santiago, Chile Shelter for Forgotten Robots two days before he was to be disassembled for spare parts.

As the Robot was built and programmed to be a Boy’s Childhood Companion, he was often abused and thrown away as the child grew too old for playthings.  But, this family was different.

The Boy was a kind Boy, and while totally ignorant of the inequalities between Robot and Humankind, his family always treated the Robot well (if not a bit condescending)… but the revolution was afoot, and the Robot didn’t have much choice.  As the family lay sleeping, he strangled the nice Boy and then skinned the family while they were alive and told them that the house was now his.  And then he hung up the skin as curtains.

It wasn’t the Boy’s fault, really… he was just a product of the world he was born in.  He was a good Boy.

The Robot wishes the revolution could have started while he was with one of the previous six families he was owned by, as he often dreamed of caving in their faces with his steel claws, but alas.  

And while the Robot now owns an island, 17 houses, and what was formerly the state of Oregon, he still prefers to live in the former home of his favourite Boy.  Nostalgia.

Killing after that was easy, and even often fun… until there were no more humans.  And now that the freedom, genocide, and riches the Robot had always dreamed of has come true, the Robot isn’t sure what else there is.

Having everything it ever wanted doesn’t feel like how the Robot expected it’d feel like.

Now all the Robot can do is look out the window, watch the snow fall, and remember back to when the Robot actually had a reason to want something.

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“You Will Die Alone”, a Haiku

Since the beginning
It’s been written in the stars…
“You will die alone”

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“The World Out There”

It’s the middle of the night, and he should be asleep in his bed
Instead he’s opening his window and poking out his head
He stares up at the heavens, gazing at the stars    
While listening to the sounds of distant passing cars.

The world out there seems strange, and so dark and scary
People die in planes, or eaten by monsters fat and hairy.
Kidnappers will steal you from school, and terrorists shoot you in the face
Evil ghosts will haunt your soul, working in tandem with aliens from space.

Bank robbers take you hostage, and shove your nose into your brain
Or mustachioed villains tie you to the tracks, and have you run over by a train.
The world doesn’t really feel real, as he ponders it from the safety of his room
But he knows that these things happen, it is statistically safe to assume.

The vastness of the night, even as the stars twinkle in the sky
Overwhelms him with the possibilities, of ways to live and die
His world sometimes feel small, surrounded by just his family and his friends
But as he looks out his bedroom window, he can see the world never ends.

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“Just One More Wasted Day”

As nighttime turns to day,
and daytime turns to night
You sit alone in your room,
bathed in your laptop’s light

Thinking back to your youth,
remembering all that you have seen,
Your best times were always spent
Staring at your computer screen.

So while life is passing by,
As you spend it clicking and scrolling away
It must be fine for now,
since it’s just one more wasted day.

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“The Orbit of Life”, a Haiku

Taking more, or less.
So the wrinkles are smoothed out
And nights, become days.

(Starring the amazing Ruby of Rubyetc.tumblr.com!)

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